Rhys Darby. Reviews - Miles is stuck in a dead-end job, still in love with his ex-girlfriend Nova. Unbeknownst to him, a gang called Skizm is running a deadly competition within his city in which complete strangers fight to the death for the entertainment of an online audience of millions. Miles soon finds himself caught up in the game and forced to fight in a battle to the death. Initially, Miles' lifetime of running from his problems pays off as he manages to elude his first opponent but when Nova is kidnapped, he must finally stop running and overcome his fears to fight for the girl he loves. Country - UK, New Zealand. directed by - Jason Lei Howden. Creator - Jason Lei Howden. 2019
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I didn't realise that it was Samara Weaving playing gun-toting kick-ass chick Nix in Guns Akimbo until she screamed. that horrible, grating, warbling sound that has ground my gears in several of her previous movies. Of course, Weaving's scream alone isn't enough to warrant a 1/10 rating, so what else about this film made my blood boil?
The basic premise is sound enough, and Daniel Radcliffe isn't quite as unbearable as I figured he might be (based on what little I have seen of him in those Potter movies) but Jason Lei Howden's script is utterly diabolical and his direction even worse. Imagine that films can procreate: if Neveldine and Taylor's Crank got freaky with Edgar Wright's Scott Pilgrim vs. the World, the result would be a lot like Guns Akimbo, which features the worst aspects of the aforementioned movies (both of which I found fairly intolerable. There's ADHD editing, naff camera trickery, and irritating graphics that routinely pop up on the screen-a noisy profusion of horrible modern movie-making gimmickry masquerading as style.
The acting is terrible: the cast are clearly going for excess, but nothing can excuse the godawful over-the-top performance from Ned Dennehy as tattooed bad-guy Riktor, who is more comical than comic-book. Weaving aims for badassery, but is just bad. The less said about the guy playing the bum in the alleyway the better. Still, working from Howden's script can't have been easy: the dialogue the actors are forced to spout is truly awful and not nearly as cool or as quotable or as funny as intended ( Never bring a spork to a gunfight. oh how I laughed. The pathetic pop culture references just add to the annoyance.
Howden actually impressed me with his previous film, the tongue-in-cheek heavy metal horror Deathgasm: it wasn't perfect, but it was enjoyable. Guns Akimbo is about as much fun as stepping on a three pin plug barefoot.
1.5/10, rounded down to 1/10 for the trite 'bullet-proof vest' plan explained to us at length in a rewound flashback, as though we're too dumb to figure it out for ourselves.
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Guns akimbo budget. Haha omg! I was just thinking “come on guys how could you not know that would be from a film” but then when he mentioned the dog walking pic, I remember seeing that and thinking wow he owns so many dogs.
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